


Lost in the Emotions

by SpiderShell



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Gen, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Padawan Anakin Skywalker, Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn Dies, Sad Obi-Wan Kenobi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:20:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29053509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpiderShell/pseuds/SpiderShell
Summary: A prickle in the Force was the only warning he had. As if in slow motion, time stalled, and Obi-Wan could do nothing but scream “Master!” in horror as the Sith took advantage of Qui-Gon’s weakness and swept his blade towards the Jedi’s torso. The movement was too swift, and one end of the blade shot through Qui-Gon’s chest. Gasping in surprise, the Jedi stared at the Sith before crumpling to the ground.“NOOOOOO!” screamed Obi-Wan, rushing forward as the barrier finally lifted. Filled with terrible anger, he raised his lightsaber and lunged toward the Sith. The double-edge blade met his with a flash. Blue against red.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Qui-Gon Jinn & Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this almost a year ago, a day or two after I had watched TPM for the first time and fell in love with it. Hope you guys enjoy!!

Red and green flashes throbbed like strobe lights, and a buzzing hum filled the air. Two pairs of feet danced a deadly dance, not daring to falter. The duel of the fates had begun.

The tension in the room deepened as the two lightsabers twirled around each other, striking with bright flashes and loud zaps of pulsating energy before whirling away. Testing the boundaries of his opponent, the Sith spun his crimson double-bladed weapon in a circle, pushing the Jedi slowly backwards. Victory was close; he could sense it.

Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, trapped behind a glowing energy shield, agitatedly rocked on the heels of his boots, waiting for the obstruction before him to lift. He had been too slow. If only he could have pushed his body just a little bit faster, he would have been able to slide under the last shield before it closed and would now be fighting by his master’s side. And now there was nothing he could do but wait and send pulses of encouragement and strength through the bond he had with Qui-Gon.

His eyes followed every one of Qui-Gon’s movements, uneasiness rising as he observed how the Jedi’s actions were increasingly slowing as the man tired. His master was not as young and agile as he had once been. Obi-Wan clenched his fingers tight around his lightsaber hilt. He should be there, helping Qui-Gon!

A prickle in the Force was the only warning he had. As if in slow motion, time stalled, and Obi-Wan could do nothing but scream “Master!” in horror as the Sith took advantage of Qui-Gon’s weakness and swept his blade towards the Jedi’s torso. The movement was too swift, and one end of the blade shot through Qui-Gon’s chest. Gasping in surprise, the Jedi stared at the Sith before crumpling to the ground.

“NOOOOOO!” screamed Obi-Wan, rushing forward as the barrier finally lifted. Filled with terrible anger, he raised his lightsaber and lunged toward the Sith. The double-edge blade met his with a flash. Blue against red.

His master was not dead yet; Obi-Wan could sense that. But he could feel the bond slowly weakening like a fraying piece of string and knew that Qui-Gon did not have much time to live. A wave of rage rushed over the padawan, clouding all thoughts, and he began to fight like he had never fought before.

The Sith was almost too strong for the young man. He sent a powerful Dark Force-wave at Obi-Wan, and the Jedi slipped off the side of the platform they were fighting on. Just in time, the padawan grabbed the edge and hauled himself up, panting with the exertion. His lightsaber was gone, fallen down the dark hole he had almost dropped into, so he tugged his master’s lightsaber, which lay beside the man’s body, towards him with a tendril of the Force.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, pulled the Force closer around him, and leapt towards the Sith, his mind screaming with fury. He caught the being by surprise, and the blue lightsaber glided towards the Sith, and sliced him in half. His body tumbled into a dark hole and was never seen again.

Obi-Wan didn’t let himself think about his ‘victory’; instead, he sprinted towards his master and fell to his knees beside him.

 _Master, Master!_ He shouted through the mental bond that all Jedi masters and padawans had as he pulled Qui-Gon’s head into his lap. _Can you hear me? Please, don’t leave!_

Qui-Gon’s eyes opened with a snap and locked onto his padawan’s face.

“It is too late,” he mumbled, “it’s-”

“No!” cried Obi-Wan. _Master please, I need you!_ he thought.

“Obi-Wan…promise…promise me you’ll train the boy…”

“Yes, Master,” said Obi-Wan. His heart screamed, _But what about me? Aren’t you proud of me?_

“He is…the Chosen…One,” mumbled Qui-Gon. His eyes darkened and grew dull, and his head went limp.

Fiery pain tore through the master-padawan bond as it seared and ripped apart. Obi-Wan suddenly could not breathe as a shock of emotions - Qui-Gon’s emotions - hit him like a tsunami and then dissipated into emptiness.  
His mind roiled as the Force cried out and writhed at the death of a great Jedi, the man who had been like a father to Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan blinked, the haze clearing from his eyes and took a gasping breath. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he bent forward until his head rested on his master’s chest. One hand stroked Qui-Gon’s soft hair, while the other clutched a handful of the dead man’s Jedi cloak.

Overcome with emotion, Obi-Wan began to wail as his world broke down around him. A mix of terror, sorrow, and anger filled him as he realised that his beloved master was dead. One thought haunted him.

Why had Qui-Gon not told him that he was proud of him? That he had been a good padawan? His last words had only been of Anakin, and that hurt Obi-Wan more than words could describe. His master had been so ready to abandon his padawan of nearly thirteen years – whom he had previously said was ‘not ready for the Trials’- for a force-sensitive boy he had only just met. Had Obi-Wan really been that disappointing? What had he done wrong?

Obi-Wan was awash with self-loathing. He lifted his left hand and tugged sharply on his padawan braid; the pain seemed to ground him. If only he had been that little bit faster, then he could have saved Qui-Gon. It was his fault that his master was dead.

Obi-Wan’s screams rent the air as the first of the Nabooian soldiers entered the room.


	2. Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan drew the cloak tightly around his shoulders, feeling more alone than he had ever felt in his life. The firelight from Qui-Gon’s funeral pyre painted a halo of orange and red on his face, but he did not feel the heat. His heart felt cold, so desperately cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part II!!! (Tissue warning haha)

Obi-Wan drew the cloak tightly around his shoulders, feeling more alone than he had ever felt in his life. The firelight from Qui-Gon’s funeral pyre painted a halo of orange and red on his face, but he did not feel the heat. His heart felt cold, so desperately cold.

His once-bright eyes, faded to a dull grey instead of their usual inquisitive blue, fixed on Qui-Gon’s face. His master, his mentor, was dead. Nothing would ever be the same again.

He blamed himself. If only he had been a better and faster padawan, he would have been able to save Qui-Gon from the Sith, but instead, his master had died. If only he had gotten under that barrier in time! If only…

A tear trickled down Obi-Wan’s cheek, a tiny crack in the emotionless Jedi-façade. He should have the one to die. He deserved it, not his master. The world needed a Jedi like Qui-Gon, not a pitiful padawan like him.

Someone tugged on his sleeve, breaking his chain of thought. He looked down to see Anakin’s bright blue eyes staring up at him. He had been crying.

An unbidden wave of anger rushed through Obi-Wan at the sight of the boy. This was the child who had stolen his master from him! This was the “Chosen One”, a person who had taken up so much of Qui-Gon’s focus that he had spent his last words worrying over the child instead of his heartbroken padawan.

“Mister Obi-Wan, sir, are you alright?” Anakin tugged a little harder.

“Yes.” Obi-Wan banished all thoughts from his mind and schooled his features into a detached expression. He didn’t want to deal with Anakin right now.

The cold tone of voice startled the boy, who did not understand what he had done, and he stepped backwards quickly. As a slave, he had been used to physical abuse if his master was irked. Perhaps Obi-Wan was like Watto.

Obi-Wan’s heart clenched a little at the fearful look on Anakin’s face. He had no wish to cause Anakin to be afraid of him, and really, it was not the boy’s fault that any of this had happened. He had to keep telling himself that.

He reached out and pulled Anakin closer beside him, knowing that he should start to form a bond with him since the boy was now his padawan. Side-by-side, Anakin and Obi-Wan, surrounded by other Jedi and friends or acquaintances of Qui-Gon’s, stared at the roaring flames of the pyre. They had both lost the person who had been the closest thing to a father, and both were grieving.

“What will happen to me now?” Anakin said with a slight tremor in his voice.

Obi-Wan had forgotten that Anakin was not aware of the Council’s final decision about him. Turning towards his new padawan, he said, “The Council has granted me permission to train you. You will be a Jedi, I promise.”

Anakin smiled and shuffled closer to his master, leaning against the Jedi’s side. “Thank you,” he murmured.

Obi-Wan looked down at the sandy blond head of his padawan and smiled, moving a hand to rest on Anakin’s shoulder.

His heart grew a little warmer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you all think??? Did you cry as much as I did while writing this? T-T

**Author's Note:**

> Suggestions, thoughts, and constructive criticism is always appreciated :))


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